Blog | Now in Colour Psychological Services

February 25, 2021 by Corrick Woodfin Leave a Comment

Why Every Man Should See a Therapist

While women are often the ones who seek therapy, typically making up nearly two-thirds of therapy patients, multiple studies have shown that men benefit more from the process. Perhaps men don’t like the idea of opening up to a stranger or sharing their feelings.

We want to encourage men to push past their discomfort and seek therapy anyway because it can really help in so many areas of their lives.

Here are some of the reasons why every man should see a therapist:

Men Often Struggle with Their Identity

Many men today struggle with what it means to be a man. Decades ago, the definition was more clearly defined, but nowadays a man can get completely lost. Should they be masculine or is masculinity somehow toxic? Should they show their emotions or not? Should they protect women or is that somehow belittling women?

It is entirely confusing for men, and many have had to grow up without a father figure in the home, or fathers who were there but emotionally absent. And so men look to media and advertising to find clues about who they should be, and this can be incredibly damaging.

Therapy can be a space where men can learn to define themselves on their own terms.

Gain Understanding and Tools for Your Relationships

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus…Have you heard that before?

In their day-to-day interactions, men tend to live on a logical plane of existence whereas women tend to live on an emotional one. No one plane of existence is right and no one is wrong, it is simply how the two sexes are wired.

But, since men often struggle to express their feelings and express themselves in a way their partners can relate to, their relationships can be damaged, causing the partners to grow apart.

Therapy can help men safely explore their own feelings and learn how to relate to and communicate with their romantic or life partners.

Become the Best Version of You

Seeing a therapist doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong with you. Often therapy can be a way to explore who you are, what you want, and how to reach your goals. In other words, therapy can be a means by which you become the best version of yourself. If you hit the gym X times per week to get into the best physical shape of your life, why not hit the therapist’s office regularly to get into the best mental and emotional shape of your life and be a total package?

Get Help for Substance Abuse

Studies have shown that men are far more likely to abuse drugs and alcohol as a way to cope with the stress and depression in their life. Therapy can show you how to cope without the need for these substances.

Lower Your Suicide Risk

There has been a disturbing rise in instances of suicide among older men. A contributing factor to this trend could be how men perceive seeking help. When you’ve got to be the strong one all the time and fix other people’s problems, seeking outside help simply may not be considered an option.

But seeking help IS an option. Men need to get help with their issues so they can avoid thoughts and feelings that may lead to suicide.

Help with Fatherhood

As I mentioned earlier, many men have grown up without ideal male role models. Then, they find themselves a father, unable to cope with the challenges and responsibilities parenthood presents. Therapy allows men to discover who they want to be for their children and come up with a game plan to develop this side of themselves.

If you are a man struggling with these issues or any others and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch. We would be more than happy to discuss how we may be able to help.

References:

February 11, 2021 by Corrick Woodfin Leave a Comment

How to Deal with Loneliness Around Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s day is just around the corner. For many people that means celebrating with their spouse or partner and showing them extra love and attention. But for others, Valentine’s Day is a sad reminder that they are single or are perhaps grieving the recent loss of their significant other.

If you are celebrating alone this year, here are a few ways you can get relief from your sadness this Valentine’s Day.

Give Yourself a Break

It’s bad enough to feel lonely, but it’s even worse to scold yourself for doing so. Loneliness is not an indication that you’re doing anything wrong or that there is something wrong and unlovable about you.

Even people that are in relationships can feel incredibly lonely. Loneliness affects everyone at some point in their life. It’s not bad to feel this way, so stop scolding yourself.

Take Yourself on a Date

How many times during the year do you make a real effort to show yourself love? If you’re like most people, you don’t really think much about how you treat yourself.

This Valentine’s Day, if you find yourself a party of one, try and make the best of it by focusing all of your love and attention on yourself. Take yourself out to a nice dinner. Or, if you don’t like the idea of sitting at a table alone surrounded by couples, then order in your favorite food and watch your favorite movie.

Take a nice long bath. Listen to your favourite band. Plan and do something you enjoy. Use this Valentine’s Day to commit to showing yourself more love and kindness throughout the year.

Show Your Love for Others

Valentine’s Day is a holiday to show love. No one says that love must be shown in a romantic way.

This is a great time to show your affection and appreciation for the wonderful people in your life. Get your best friend a box of chocolates or your mum a bouquet of flowers. Put a card on your neighbour’s windshield or on your co-worker’s desk.

You can be filled with love by being loved, and you can be filled with love by loving others. The more love YOU show this holiday, the more love you will feel inside. And you would be amazed at how the loneliness quickly slips away when you are full of love.

Don’t let the commercialism of the holiday make you feel alone and isolated. You really can have a lovely Valentine’s day if you love yourself and others.

If you would like help to learn how to manage your loneliness. Please contact us! We would be pleased to help you discover ways to increase the love in your life.

January 28, 2021 by Corrick Woodfin Leave a Comment

How Counselling Can Help You Reach Your Goals in the New Year

If you struggle to set goals, let alone reach them, you are definitely not alone. In fact, it is thought that roughly 92% of the population has found it hard to achieve goals. This constant cycle of trying to set beneficial life or health goals, but never quite reaching them, can ultimately lead to low mood and maintaining unhelpful patterns of behaviour.

Reaching goals is empowering and helps us feel we are in charge of our life. When we don’t sustain our new pattern of behaviour, we can feel powerless and even hopeless about our ability to improve our lives.

How Counselling Can Help

Just as following a recipe will increase the likelihood you will end up with something edible, there is a formula that can be followed to set and achieve goals. This formula is often used in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to help individuals idenitify and reach their goals.

Goal setting has actually been shown to be a useful tool for those suffering from depression according to a study published in the journal PLOS ONE. The study found that individuals suffering from depression had more trouble setting goals and were far less likely to believe they could reach them. The participants also tended to set avoidance goals rather than approach goals.

An avoidance goal is one you set to avoid a negative outcome. “I want to lose weight so I don’t develop type 2 diabetes.” An approach goal, on the other hand, is one that you set to ensure a positive outcome. “I want to lose weight to have more energy!”

The study showed that counselling can help people with depression set and achieve realistic and achievable goals as well as help them stay on track mentally in pursuit of that goal.

The goal-setting formula used by most CBT therapists is as follows:

Identify your goal.
Choose a starting point.
Identify the steps required to achieve the goal.
Take that first step and get started.

A therapist can help you with each one of these steps. From ensuring you select realistic approach goals, to helping you identify where you are in relation to your goal, breaking down the goal into actionable steps, and supporting you to take your first step, a psychologist will be in your corner, helping you along the way.

Make 2021 the year you reach the goals that will help you live your best life. If you’d like some help getting there, please get in touch with us. We’d be more than happy to discuss how we may be able to help.

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January 14, 2021 by Corrick Woodfin Leave a Comment

Coping with Working from Home During COVID-19

How many mornings have you shut off your alarm and wished you could just work from home in your PJs? Well…many of us are getting our wish, thanks to COVID-19.

While in theory working from home may seem ideal, the reality for many of us is that it’s, well, kind of difficult. Particularly if you have young children home from school that you now have to teach while still maintaining your productivity at work.

The fact is, this sudden and unexpected disruption to our daily lives has many of us feeling stressed!

Here are some ways you can cope with working from home for the unforeseeable future.

1. Get Your Space Right

If you don’t have a dedicated home office, figure something out ASAP. Having a dedicated work space will help you focus on the tasks at hand. It will also automatically set boundaries with family.

Do you have a spare room you can use? Is there an area in your basement that could work? If not, clear off the dining table and set up there.

2. Keep Your Regular Schedule

You may want to treat the next 2-3 weeks as a sort of family vacation, but it’s best if you and the children stick to your regular routines. That means getting up and going to bed at the same time, showering, getting dressed and having breakfast as you normally would. Straying from routine may decrease your motivation to complete all the work that needs to get done.

3. Take Advantage of the Flexibility

While it’s important to keep to your routines, that doesn’t mean you can’t take advantage of having more time on your hands! Instead of spending an hour (or more) on a commute each day, you could use that time to catch up on home projects that have been on your to-do list for a while. You can also use the added time to reconnect with your family, or read a book – just for the fun of it!

4. Give Your Children Structure

Children need structure, so give them some each day. This could mean giving them three options of how they will spend the afternoon: playing with Legos in the living room, watching a movie or quiet reading in their bedrooms. Be sure to take a break from work every couple of hours to check in with your children…try asking them if they have any questions to get the conversation started.

5. Get Some Virtual Babysitters

On those days when you have multiple meetings and lots to get done, consider reaching out to family and friends to arrange virtual playdates with the kids. Thanks to the availability of video platforms, your virtual babysitters can read, play games and interact with your children online while you get some of your work done.

If you find you are getting “a bit squirrelly”, even after following these tips, consider reaching out to a registered mental healthcare provider who can give you some more ideas of how to manage the stress.

If you’d like to speak to a psychologist, please reach out to us. We offer secure-encrypted video sessions to residents of Alberta, so you don’t even have to leave your home.