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How to Ask for Help in Times of Need

You probably remember a time in school or out shopping when you wanted to ask for help, but stopped yourself. You might have even had a prompt from the teacher: “Does anyone have any questions?” or from an associate “Is there something I can help you with?”. Still, even when it’s their job (or their joy) to help, you might hesitate.

It can be even more difficult when you’re going through difficult times and can really use another set of eyes or hands. If you’re overwhelmed with work and home life, or if you’re going through some tough emotional business, sometimes you just need someone to help.

Why Is It Hard to Ask for Help?

If you look back to your past, you might see where the roots formed that made it more difficult for you to ask for help. Your parents might have made you learn to figure things out on your own, then given you great praise when you did. As a child, you may have been met with resistance or anger when you reached out for help. Maybe you had a parent who modeled the “do it yourself” attitude, always refusing to ask for help. These early formative experiences can leave you with the impression that asking for a help is a deficiency. You might also have difficulty asking for help because you don’t want to surrender control to an outside person, or because you don’t want to feel like you “owe” anyone anything.

How to Ask for Help

If you have difficulty asking for help, you may have learned some less than optimal coping mechanisms over the years. You might try to make someone feel guilty or feel sorry for you. Or in your haste, you may ask the wrong person; instead of someone who would be better able to help you, you choose someone who’s more likely to say yes.

  • Be Specific: To ask for help, it’s best to be straightforward. Know in advance exactly what you need, and be specific with your request.
  • Go to the Source: Instead of going to people who are easy to talk to, or people who are more likely to help you, seek help from those whose help you need.
  • Offer an Exchange: It may be easier to ask for help if you offer something in return. For example, if you need someone to pick up your child at daycare so you can work late, offer a playdate in return.

Are you having trouble juggling work and home life? Are you struggling to deal with some tough emotions and need some support? A Registered Psychologist can help. Please give our office a call today, and let’s schedule a time to talk.

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The Effects of Alcohol on Your Body

We’ve all read the studies that tell us having a glass or two of wine a day is actually beneficial to our health. But what happens when that glass or two turns into three, four or more?

Drinking too much alcohol can have serious ramifications on our health. Here are just some of the ways alcohol negatively affects your body and overall health:

Liver Damage and Toxic Buildup

Your liver is responsible for breaking down and removing harmful substances from your body, including alcohol. When we drink too much alcohol, over time, it can damage our liver leading to a condition called cirrhosis. Once your liver becomes this damaged, it can no longer remove harmful toxins from your body and you can experience another type of health crisis.

Type 2 Diabetes

Drinking too much can also damage your pancreas where insulin is made. When the pancreas is no longer functioning optimally and it cannot make enough insulin, your blood sugar levels begin to rise. This can eventually lead to the development of type 2 diabetes.

Damage to Your Central Nervous System

You know that when you drink too much, you begin to slur your speech. This is because alcohol impacts your central nervous system. Alcohol essentially reduces proper communication between your brain and your body. This is why you have slurred speech and horrible coordination when you’re drunk. Drinking in excess can eventually cause numbness and tingling sensations in your hands and feet. It can also cause you to lose memories because damage occurs to your frontal lobe.

Poor Digestion

The more you drink, the more you damage the lining of your digestive tract, so you soon become unable to absorb important nutrients from your food. Many alcoholics are suffering from malnutrition.

Drinking in excess also causes ulcers, and sometimes these ulcers can begin to bleed, causing more serious health complications.

Risk of Heart Disease

Chronic drinkers have a higher risk of developing heart disease and high blood pressure. If left untreated, they also have a higher chance of having a stroke or heart attack.

Alcohol in moderation can be very beneficial to your health. But drinking too much affects your health in a negative way. If you think you may have a drinking problem, please get help.

SOURCES:

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How to Control Your Anger

Someone slides into the parking spot you had your eye on. A coworker takes credit for your work. Your spouse runs up $200 on the credit card without discussing it first. These are things that are apt to make you angry.

And that’s okay.

Anger is a natural response to many life events. Like other emotions, anger helps us understand our world and how we feel about it. When managed well, anger can provide a healthy release and be a motivator for transformation. But when we experience too much anger, to the point of becoming out of control, it can have lasting ramifications.

Our Brain on Anger

When anger reaches a very high level, our pre-frontal cortex, that is the part of the brain responsible for cognitive thought and reasoning, becomes hijacked. The amygdala, our primal emotional/instinctual part of the brain that induces the “fight or flight” response, takes over and we are no longer capable of rational thought.

When aroused to anger, our brains can no longer take in new information. This means if our partner or loved one is trying to talk sense into us and explain something, we CANNOT hear them. All we are aware of is that we must defend ourselves as if our very life depends on it. We feel under extreme attack and are ready to fight back.

How to Control Your Anger

Now that you know how your brain responds, it’s time to learn some techniques to manage your extreme anger.

Take a Breather

You know that the hotter you get, the more your brain shuts down and becomes unable to process any information. There is no sense in you continuing to talk/argue with someone. Your best course of action is to put the fire out before it begins to rage by calling a time out and taking a breather.

Exercise

The body’s “fight or flight” response releases powerful hormones that are intended to help us fight or run. Without this physical release, they can linger in the body and cause health problems. Going for a walk, run or lifting weights can be a great way to burn through these hormones and release soothing endorphins.

Seek Out Counselling

Managing extreme anger can be very challenging, especially in the beginning. A mental health professional will be able to share coping strategies and techniques to control outbursts.

If you or someone you love has anger management issues and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with us. We’d be more than happy to discuss how we may be able to help.

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Benefits of a Mental Health Day from Work or School

We’ve all had those days when the alarm goes off and we lie in bed, feeling depleted of our energy, and maybe even our good mood. We think to ourselves, “I’m not really sick, but I just need a break from real life today.” While taking a sick day is common when you are feeling physically unwell, what’s not as common – but perhaps should be – is taking a mental health day when you are feeling mentally and emotionally unwell.

Now many, if not most, companies do offer their employees personal days with no questions asked. But many people save these days for what seems like real-life emergencies. They feel guilty if they use one of these days to simply rest and relax their mind.

The truth is, taking a mental health day from work or school can be extremely important for your overall well-being. It can help you avoid burnout, improve your mood, help you get some much-needed rest, and rejuvenate you so you can tackle “real life” once again.

Signs It’s Time for a Mental Health Day

So how do you know when you are really in need of a mental health day and when you’re just feeling a bit lazy and unmotivated?

Stress

You’ve been feeling overwhelmed and irritable.

You Just Feel… Off

Sometimes we don’t feel like ourselves, but we can’t quite put our finger on what’s wrong. We know we feel anxious and like the world is a bit too much. This is a sure sign you need a break.

Getting Sick More Often

Are you dealing with a cold that “just won’t go away?” When we are stressed, our immune systems become compromised, and it’s harder for us to fight off the common cold.

The bottom line is – taking time for your mental health is necessary. We encourage you to take a mental health day when you need it. Sometimes it’s the absolute best thing we can do for ourselves.

And if you find a mental health day didn’t fully meet your needs, you may have more going on in your life that requires direct treatment. If you like the idea of speaking with someone about whatever is bothering you, please get in touch with us so we can discuss treatment options.

SOURCES:

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